let people be themselves. just please.

So lately a few things have been on my mind. One thing that I have kind of always struggled with is fully accepting myself and letting me be me fully. Obviously this is something that everyone on the planet has a hard time with, because we all just want to be accepted and loved and not made fun of. But lately, I have been thinking about this a whole lot. Like really, a LOT. And I realized that it is so dumb that we have to feel scared to be ourselves. The reason that we are so scared is because people around us are making fun of who we are and are taking our personal opinions of likes and dislikes and judging us for them. I really, really, really, really dislike this. A LOT. (disclaimer before I continue: I literally do all these things so I am not being self-righteous. Much of why I hate this is that I do it to. Okay continue)
Let’s look at a few examples. To start us off on a really basic level, food. When people criticize the kinds of foods that you love or hate, it’s like … WHY. We all have different taste buds, like literally we all have different taste buds. So why is it that when my brother says he hates peanut butter, I start telling him how dumb he is and how that is the worst thing I have ever heard? Why is it that in my head, not liking peanut butter is a reflection of his character? I mean, to me, it definitely makes sense because peanut butter is actual heaven on earth to me. But then I tell other people that I don’t like bananas and suddenly I get attacked for disliking such a beautiful, wonderful, healthy fruit that tastes like a dream. DIFFERENT. TASTE. BUDS. FRIENDS.
Now let’s compare this to, say, music choice. We all were raised with different parents who had their own music choice. We got conditioned to certain music, and liked some of it. Then as we grew older, our horizons expanded, and for the most part, everyone kind of found their own music sound. Clearly since finding music is a personal road of self-discovery and exploration, why in the HECK do we judge people for their music taste? Maybe someone likes a certain song not because it sounds fantastic, but because of the memories behind the song? What if it reminds them of a fun day they had, or of one of their best friends? Telling someone that liking Taylor Swift is ‘stupid and immature and idiotic’ is actually kind of a really sad thing, because what if Taylor Swift reminds you of all of your best friends? Also, what if the lyrics really mean something to you, but someone just doesn’t understand because they haven’t had the same life experiences as you? THIS IS SO LIKELY. Why, why, why, WHY do we hate on people for their likes and their dislikes?
This happens to everyone, all the time. I get this a lot myself, especially since I like a lot of things that are typically classified as ‘nerdy.’ All through high school, I had people that called me a nerd every day, and even though I tried to take it as a compliment, I could always tell that there were a few people that wanted it to be as condescending as possible. This hurt. So, because I like superheroes and Harry Potter, this makes me a bad person, someone that you think is annoying and that you don’t want to be friends with? Now, I’m not saying that we should all have the same interests and fake that we like the same things. Instead, I am saying that it would be so so so nice if we could respect what others like and not make fun of them for their interests.
Interests are what make us who we are. For example, most of you are my good friends or my family and know me fairly well (if not, I literally post on Facebook all the time ranting about my life, so you probably know me). Let’s imagine who I would even be without Harry Potter for just one second. Like, try to imagine me as a person if I had never read Harry Potter. Yeah, it gives me a headache and makes me want to cry for ten years, but you see what I mean? There are probably tons of people that think I’m annoying and really dumb for loving all these ‘nerdy’ things, but hey, they make me me.
However, despite these identities that we all have, we all still get judged about who we are and how we are dumb and have the wrong opinions.
And this makes me so sad.
FRIENDS. Why can’t we accept people for who they are? I’m not saying “Why can’t they accept people for who they are,” because WE, including ME, are the issue. Yes, I judge people so bad when they like Toby Maguire better than Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man (please, no discussions about this because I may start to cry). I actually lose my mind and get really angry when people tell me why they think Disney is dumb (this is actually not arguable and all of you are WRONG WRONG WRONG and clearly haven’t seen the right Disney movie). Also I tell people they are uneducated and dumb when they tell me that I pronounce gif wrong (I really do say it wrong, I just really really really hate saying 'jif'). I do all these things too, but I want to stop because I know how it feels. I am so tired of people telling me that Taylor Swift is the worst. I want to be able to like Marvel without people telling me that superheroes are for boys. I want to wear polka dots without being worried that someone will tell me I’m a little girl who is immature and doesn’t have fashion sense. So much of me wants to have the strength to fully be me and not be scared, but it’s so so so scary. The solution I have is this: let other people be who they are. Treat everyone with love and respect. Understand that everyone is unique and we all have our own tastes that are different, and we need to remember that. No one is going to be just like you, so accept that you have differences, and then move on to be friends. I think that if we can remember this, we can not only be really nice people, but a whole lot of humans on this planet will feel a lot more comfortable being whoever the freak they want to be. 

twitter and train rides and just random thoughts

So lately I've had some thoughts. I'll try to make sense of them here.

First off, social media. Holy. This is a big one for me right now. I think since December, I decided that social media was just honestly killing me as a person. For years and years and years, I thought of myself as an incredibly energetic, happy, alive, bubbly person. But now all I am is a phone screen full of text messages and likes. I honestly do not deny this at all, and truly I am working on it every single day.
The thing is, I love social media. It's such a beautiful concept to me, that we can share some of our thoughts and feelings in a way that not everyone has to see it or enjoy it, but those that want to interact can. It's also a nice way for people too shy to speak up to be able to say things to others around them. Overall, a truly fascinating, amazing way to share and to keep in touch with those that you don't see that often.
But like. Destructive.
Let's look at this for a moment. Once upon a time in my youth, I was kind of the coolest. Like, in my head I was, because in my head, you know what I was doing? Constantly playing out a million different fantasy worlds where I was a princess or maybe a knight or maybe a spy. I read at least a book a week (sometimes a book a day) and like I just fueled my brain with material. Serious, great, beneficial material.
Now what do I do? I wake up and boom, instant thing is check Instagram. This is fine, because I don't follow many people so it takes me like five minutes at the most. And besides, I'm seeing what my friends are up to. But then I have to go to Twitter, and scroll all through my feed or else I feel like I'm seriously missing something. 15 minutes guys. 15 minutes of me lying in my bed, reading about the Kardashians and reading about people's inner thoughts that are sometimes too random to even be funny. Then I have Snapchat, Timehop, countdowns, Facebook, YouTube...the list goes on. By the time I have finished my morning social media scrolling, it is around 45 minutes of my day, sometimes even an hour.
Let's stop and think about this, comparing it to my life before I had a smartphone. What did I do in the morning? I got up, made my bed, ate breakfast, maybe watched a couple cartoons. Then I would clean up and go out and start to play. Actually if we are being serious I would just go outside and play with my brothers and then escape when it got too 'manly' for me and would go to read my book.
BUT STILL.
I have an app on my phone that counts how long I spend on it. Not like how long I am using it (so like music doesn't count) but how much screen time there is. I HAVE NEVER MADE IT UNDER THREE HOURS. NEVER. unless I cheat. So. yes.
Three hours, guys. Do we want to think about all the things that we can do in three hours? Yeah, me neither. I honestly hate thinking about it. So many times I think to myself, "I don't have enough time to do that, I am just SO busy!"
Hi. Um. Remember that hour at the beginning of my day where I just lay in bed? Yeah, okay just thought I might bring that back up.
So like it wastes a lot of time, but also, how much do we miss? I mean we have all seen all of those slam poetry videos that inspire us to 'look up' and not be on our phones so much because we miss so much. But um yeah. We really do. Every time I'm on the bus or train, I sit on my phone and look at things that I've already seen or read before, but I do it just because I'm bored.
Last time I was on a train, I sat across from a girl who didn't have headphones and didn't look down at her phone one time. I had my headphones in and barely looked up. I literally knew that she wanted to talk. Like, I could feel it. She got my attention to show me cool things on the ride and she even offered me cake (probably not a wise choice, but I ate the cake, which may have had drugs in it, but it was LEMON POUND CAKE OKAY) and just I could tell she was so lonely that even a stranger would have been nice to talk to. But you know what was better in my eyes? Reading articles about Taylor Swift that I had already read that morning, and then selecting the next song on my playlist in hopes that I would drown her out.
Some days I try really hard. Another train example. One time I got on the train and sat by this elderly lady. She talked to me for an hour and a half about her family and asked me about mine. Another family came and sat by us and we all talked and had such an amazing time. I loved it, even though I tell myself I hate talking to people I don't know. It was so fun to me, and for the rest of the day I just felt friendlier and happier.
At a family activity recently I put down my phone and barely touched it. Instead, I played with my younger cousins and talked to my family members. At the end of the day, my phone battery was at like 60%, not even kidding. And even though I had missed all the status updates and Snapchat stories, you know what? I was totally and completely okay. Happier, even.
So why. Why the heck do I do that to myself?
If I knew, that would be awesome.
Every morning I tell myself, "okay, today instead of going through Twitter while you eat breakfast (I'm way too hyperactive to just sit and eat breakfast, I have to be doing something haha), read a book." Yeah that lasts like two seconds until I tell myself, "Well, see, I just poured the milk on my cereal and the book is in the other room and my phone is in my hand, so..." Excuses are my favorite things, and I am fully aware of this.
I wish this ended with a really cool solution on how we can all work on putting down our phones and pay attention to the world around us. If I could do that, that would be stupendous (ten bonus points to the person that caught that movie reference). All I'm saying is, I want to be more aware of my life and what I do, and I think that social media is really helping me go the opposite direction. They may be smartphones, but like seriously, I think they're making us dumber. And more boring. And less creative. Machines shouldn't have to think for us.
Since this post is a mile and a half long, I'll save my other thoughts for another day :) Have a splendid day!