So lately a few things have been on my mind. One thing that I have kind of always struggled with is fully accepting myself and letting me be me fully. Obviously this is something that everyone on the planet has a hard time with, because we all just want to be accepted and loved and not made fun of. But lately, I have been thinking about this a whole lot. Like really, a LOT. And I realized that it is so dumb that we have to feel scared to be ourselves. The reason that we are so scared is because people around us are making fun of who we are and are taking our personal opinions of likes and dislikes and judging us for them. I really, really, really, really dislike this. A LOT. (disclaimer before I continue: I literally do all these things so I am not being self-righteous. Much of why I hate this is that I do it to. Okay continue)
Let’s look at a few examples. To start us off on a really basic level, food. When people criticize the kinds of foods that you love or hate, it’s like … WHY. We all have different taste buds, like literally we all have different taste buds. So why is it that when my brother says he hates peanut butter, I start telling him how dumb he is and how that is the worst thing I have ever heard? Why is it that in my head, not liking peanut butter is a reflection of his character? I mean, to me, it definitely makes sense because peanut butter is actual heaven on earth to me. But then I tell other people that I don’t like bananas and suddenly I get attacked for disliking such a beautiful, wonderful, healthy fruit that tastes like a dream. DIFFERENT. TASTE. BUDS. FRIENDS.
Now let’s compare this to, say, music choice. We all were raised with different parents who had their own music choice. We got conditioned to certain music, and liked some of it. Then as we grew older, our horizons expanded, and for the most part, everyone kind of found their own music sound. Clearly since finding music is a personal road of self-discovery and exploration, why in the HECK do we judge people for their music taste? Maybe someone likes a certain song not because it sounds fantastic, but because of the memories behind the song? What if it reminds them of a fun day they had, or of one of their best friends? Telling someone that liking Taylor Swift is ‘stupid and immature and idiotic’ is actually kind of a really sad thing, because what if Taylor Swift reminds you of all of your best friends? Also, what if the lyrics really mean something to you, but someone just doesn’t understand because they haven’t had the same life experiences as you? THIS IS SO LIKELY. Why, why, why, WHY do we hate on people for their likes and their dislikes?
This happens to everyone, all the time. I get this a lot myself, especially since I like a lot of things that are typically classified as ‘nerdy.’ All through high school, I had people that called me a nerd every day, and even though I tried to take it as a compliment, I could always tell that there were a few people that wanted it to be as condescending as possible. This hurt. So, because I like superheroes and Harry Potter, this makes me a bad person, someone that you think is annoying and that you don’t want to be friends with? Now, I’m not saying that we should all have the same interests and fake that we like the same things. Instead, I am saying that it would be so so so nice if we could respect what others like and not make fun of them for their interests.
Interests are what make us who we are. For example, most of you are my good friends or my family and know me fairly well (if not, I literally post on Facebook all the time ranting about my life, so you probably know me). Let’s imagine who I would even be without Harry Potter for just one second. Like, try to imagine me as a person if I had never read Harry Potter. Yeah, it gives me a headache and makes me want to cry for ten years, but you see what I mean? There are probably tons of people that think I’m annoying and really dumb for loving all these ‘nerdy’ things, but hey, they make me me.
However, despite these identities that we all have, we all still get judged about who we are and how we are dumb and have the wrong opinions.
And this makes me so sad.
FRIENDS. Why can’t we accept people for who they are? I’m not saying “Why can’t they accept people for who they are,” because WE, including ME, are the issue. Yes, I judge people so bad when they like Toby Maguire better than Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man (please, no discussions about this because I may start to cry). I actually lose my mind and get really angry when people tell me why they think Disney is dumb (this is actually not arguable and all of you are WRONG WRONG WRONG and clearly haven’t seen the right Disney movie). Also I tell people they are uneducated and dumb when they tell me that I pronounce gif wrong (I really do say it wrong, I just really really really hate saying 'jif'). I do all these things too, but I want to stop because I know how it feels. I am so tired of people telling me that Taylor Swift is the worst. I want to be able to like Marvel without people telling me that superheroes are for boys. I want to wear polka dots without being worried that someone will tell me I’m a little girl who is immature and doesn’t have fashion sense. So much of me wants to have the strength to fully be me and not be scared, but it’s so so so scary. The solution I have is this: let other people be who they are. Treat everyone with love and respect. Understand that everyone is unique and we all have our own tastes that are different, and we need to remember that. No one is going to be just like you, so accept that you have differences, and then move on to be friends. I think that if we can remember this, we can not only be really nice people, but a whole lot of humans on this planet will feel a lot more comfortable being whoever the freak they want to be.
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